Kiss Me in the Dark Tell Me My Name Tell My Name Again Again
When I wait dorsum at all the relationships that didn't piece of work out (that I and then wanted to at the fourth dimension), I realize that in every case, there were early warning signs that my guy gave me that could have given me some thought of the heartbreak I was going to experience if I had but been aware of what to look for.
So, to spare you from what happened to me, to give y'all the inside scoop on what y'all can be on the picket for, here'southward my list of the alarm signs that I didn't listen. Fortunately, you lot still can.
Here they are, in no particular guild …
1.) He doesn't call you when he says he volition.
Granted, I know that sometimes life can get it the fashion, and if he's working belatedly on that large project with the looming deadline it's possible that time might get away from him one time in a while.
Merely if this happens more than than one time or twice, it'southward a sure sign that you're just not a priority for him right at present.
If a guy is really interested in starting (or continuing) a real human relationship with you, you will be on his mind, and he won't forget to call.
2.) He's often late and doesn't call to let you know.
I know there are lots of reasons people can run late that are beyond their control (traffic jam, car problems, existence stuck at the role), but a quick call from his cell phone will put your mind at ease, and let y'all know that you have a few more minutes to endeavor on that one other outfit you were still because.
The indicate here is about being respectful of your time – we can forgive lateness, even chronic lateness (some people just aren't good at judging how much time something will take), but non calling to let you know he'll be a little late?
That's inexcusable and a sure sign that he's non too concerned about you.
iii.) He's doesn't evidence up at all (and doesn't call) when you take plans to come across him.
OK ladies, unless he was (verifiably) unconscious in a infirmary somewhere, getting stood up is a "one strike and yous're out" offense.
At that place is absolutely no practiced reason for this (except the one higher up), and if you stay with him after a maneuver like that, you'll be in for a very bumpy emotional ride that's most guaranteed to cease badly.
Cell phone reception is first-class these days (unless he'south a lumberjack working in the Great Due north Woods), so this one is unforgivable.
four.) He has rules about how often he can see you.
Information technology'south one thing to have the boys' "Wednesday Poker Night", or something along those lines, but if he's only willing to get together say, every other weekend (with the exception being a child custody state of affairs), then that'southward a sure sign he'due south keeping his options open and notwithstanding scouring the market place for something better (at least in his mind – he only doesn't realize that you're the best thing going!).
5.) He knows way more about you than yous know about him.
If y'all find yourself doing all the talking during your conversations, and when you inquire him something almost himself he doesn't say much, information technology may exist considering he's hiding something or doesn't want to get too close to you.
Many guys just aren't big talkers, but if he hasn't told you lot the details of where he works, where he grew upwards, went to school, etc., and if he gives you lot vague answers when yous ask him about these specifics, then that means he'due south keeping you at a distance.
vi.) You know way more about him than he knows about yous.
This one is the flip side to the last warning sign - if he's and then busy talking all about himself, and shows no interest in who y'all are, what yous like to practise, or what your idea of the future looks like, this should be a real cherry-red flag.
The good news near this 1 is that there's no danger of taking information technology personally – it's all well-nigh him. Information technology has zip to do with you – this kind of guy isn't interested in anyone – but himself.
Steer clear (way clear).
7.) He doesn't tell anyone almost yous. (Read: No one knows he has a girlfriend – YOU)
If he doesn't introduce you to his friends or ask you to hang out with them one time in a while, go to a party or assemble with them - that's a certain sign that he'southward not certain about the whole thing.
Of form you may not want to hang out with his friends much, particularly if they're a group of partying bachelors, but they should at to the lowest degree know about you, and it should be your decision.
How they treat yous when you're around can also be a big tell-tale sign of how things are going or will go – if they kind of care for y'all similar "yes, you're the girlfriend of the month, I'll talk to you lot if you can brand it past week 4", so that's a sign of what'south likely to be coming next.
8.) He doesn't invite you to meet his family unit – ever.
Of course inviting yous to meet the family is a big deal, as it should be, and information technology doesn't happen until he feels similar this thing is going somewhere.
So that'due south only information technology – if time is starting to drag on, and he still hasn't invited y'all to come across his family unit, the likelihood is that he's having doubts well-nigh the human relationship.
The lesser line is that if the human relationship has been going on for some time – just to put a number on it, permit'south say over 6 months – and he hasn't invited you to meet his family yet, information technology'due south certainly time to question him near it.
If he still doesn't introduce you? Time to start planning your exit strategy.
9.) He doesn't spend the holidays with yous.
I know there are situations, such as when a divorced human wants to spend time with his children at the family vacation get together, but even then he can make time for you either earlier or later on his family time.
Everyone knows how special holidays are to us women, and if he doesn't, and then that's a sign of other bug (for example, not beingness considerate and thoughtful regarding your feelings).
If he'south only taking off on a surf vacation to Bali with his buddies over the holidays because that's when it's less crowded, and you're not invited, then you're clearly a depression priority to him.
ten.) He's got lots of female friends – and makes sure yous know this.
In my experience, "platonic" friendships are rarely, if ever, that – there are nearly ever some feelings in 1 direction or the other.
Either the guy is secretly harboring feelings for the girl, or vice-versa. And when a guy is in a relationship, he has then much less time to spend with his buddies – why on earth would he ever choose to spend that precious time with another adult female?
Well, there are a number of reasons he might, and they all involve one deep seated issue or another, and none of them are good.
And making certain y'all know nearly it? That'southward merely playing games, and just another reason to get out and find yourself an emotionally healthy homo to be in a relationship with.
11.) He doesn't tell y'all what he'due south doing, where he'due south going, or when he'll be back.
If your guy likes to go on yous guessing, there'due south a reason. This is another sure sign that he's keeping his options open.
In a healthy relationship there's no hiding or secrets.
If he's not being open and upfront about his whereabouts, then stop worrying about it – just movement on.
12.) He doesn't talk about his plans for the future with you.
I'm all for living in the moment and enjoying the "now". Simply eventually in a relationship a discussion of time to come plans has got to come up – otherwise you'll never know if the ii of you lot are sailing together or heading towards dissimilar continents.
If he'south non at to the lowest degree occasionally talking about the future with you then chances are, in his heed, you're not in information technology.
13.) He lets you know he had a life without you and he still has a life without you.
I mean, certain, when you lot're outset dating, information technology'due south interesting to hear about the places your guy has been and all of the fun times he's had with his friends.
Only if he'due south still reminiscing almost his single life escapades afterward your relationship has moved to the adjacent level, or worse, making plans to have more of those escapades (without you lot), then the truth is he still wants to exist single.
Let him.
14.) You feel similar if you could but change yourself and not exist so needy, this would all piece of work out.
This is past far the biggest alert sign of all.
If yous start to feel that in that location's something wrong with you lot, or you're doing something wrong that's causing him to pull away, and maybe if you merely gave him more of the liberty he wants, and expect for him quietly, and…well, you get it.
Don't fall into this trap.
If you want a existent relationship, equipped with existent feelings, real caring, real consideration, and real romance, and he doesn't, then he's not the right guy for you and let him (and yourself) get.
So if you see any of these warning signs, and especially if y'all see several of them, chances are that this is not a guy that'southward looking for a real human relationship correct at present – or at least not the kind you're looking for.
Your best bet is to walk abroad gracefully, with your cocky-esteem intact, and non look back.
Rather than trying to get him to change or waiting for him to come around, effort focusing on you and why you're in a human relationship with someone like this. If you observe yourself in this type of relationship oftentimes, which many of united states of america practise, information technology'due south fourth dimension for some real soul searching to get to the root of information technology.
If you have access to good counseling, take advantage of it, as many times this is the only way to truthful healing. And it will be worth information technology in the long run, to get you past the bike of toxic relationships so yous tin can move on to the kind of true, sustainable love that you want to attract into your life.
Sometimes it's difficult to see when we're in it, merely know that if you're settling for less than you deserve, there truly is someone out at that place ready and waiting to give you what y'all're looking for – and to treat y'all the way you deserve to be treated.
It's in assertive in ourselves, trusting our gut instincts and discovering who we really are and what we're really looking for, that all the other pieces of the puzzle fall into identify and we find ourselves finally getting information technology right and discovering the love of our lives – the one who doesn't come up with any cherry-red flags.
And yous deserve nothing less than that, no matter where you've been or what y'all've been through.
It'south all out in that location waiting for y'all!
Want to learn more about bringing him in closer (instead of him pulling away)? Bring together our mailing list past clicking the push below, and I'll transport you lot my complimentary video and Due east-volume "iv Proven Ways to Make Him ADORE You (Similar He'due south Never Adored Anyone Before!)"
Source: https://gettingtotruelove.com/2011/12/29/14-warning-signs-that-hes-not-that-in-to-you/
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